To many of my girlfriends, online dating seems like the last recourse they would choose to find a boyfriend. They would say “it’s nice to have a boyfriend, but online dating is….” They shy away from putting herself on the market. I have to admit that I was like that before I gained the courage to put my profile on OkCupid, but I wanted a meaningful relationship. From some of my girlfriends, I learned about OkCupid, a dating site for younger people. It’s also for less serious relationship types: you can label yourself as looking for a one-night stand…if that’s what you want.
It didn’t take me long before I realize how lucky and precious it is to be a girl in her 20s-the best time of her life to find a great boyfriend, who could become the something, something else in the future . I uploaded a few of my better-looking, current photos, along with brief answers to each of the profile questions. I was getting so much attention! On average I can get 2-3 new interests per day without seeking out any guy. That’s 40-60 candidates per month! However, a girl’s prettiness, body type, and age determine how many interests she gets. That’s just a fact of life. As lazy as I was not to search for boys, I believe that if a girl shows interest to a guy first, the guy will not respect her as much as if it was he seeking her out, like the old courtship rule. Please note that there is no friendship on online dating sites. Guys are simple, and they have a single-purposed mind when they go to online dating sites.
The best and most exciting part of online dating to me is to pick the guy to whom I reply. I know there can be only one guy in my life, so I was looking for the one. I was extremely picky. My technique is to first read the guy’s initial message. It can’t be too short like “Hi, how are you? I like your profile” or too long like an autobiography about himself. I like the mid-length message. You want to feel that he has carefully read your profile and he genuinely wants to know more about you. Then, I look at his photos. My argument is that if this is the guy that I will be looking at for the rest of my life, he’d better be at least decent looking, otherwise I would be so miserable and have temptation for a good-looking man on the side. Now, if the guy passes my fist two tests, I will read his written profile. This is where his personality shows. You can tell what a person he is by the way he writes. The art and technique of doing that come from your experience. I was looking for red flags. No matter how small it is: I believe any incompatibility in the earliest dating stage is going to turn into a major issue later in the relationship, so stop the pain early. Only when a guy passes all three tests, I will grant him the honor of receiving my message back to him.