Actually I don’t like to talk to a potential date online for too long. It’s kind of wasting time to talk to someone if he is not the one. I prefer to set up a physical meet-up within a week. Girls, you know what, you don’t need to worry about setting up the first date; the guy will ask you first. Not because they have the same analytical approach like me, maybe a little bit, but mainly it’s because they are testosterone-driven sexual animals. Trust me: there is nothing wrong about male animalism. Of course, on the outside, he has to remain civil and courteous. Whatever goes on in his brain stays there until the relationship advances to the next level. If a guy doesn’t feel the urge to meet you soon, I’d say there is something physiologically wrong with him or he’s just playing around, and eliminate him right away.
The actual meet-up is a step beyond the online dating stage: make it simple, like a brunch or a drink, etc. (low commitment of time and money), and have a quick exit excuse if the meet-up is not going well. Make sure you look pretty good and show your real personality to him. Within the first 30 mins, you can tell whether you want to spend more time with him or say “it’s nice to meet you, but I got to go cuz I got to finish some work at home.” You want a situation where both of you are learning about each other and there is no awkward periods of silence. The topics must be neutral! You and the guy should not talk about negative and too personal things. Otherwise you risk scaring him away. Yes, in the early stage, guys can be easily scared by red flags; they are very sensitive on this kind stuff. For my meet-up with my current gorgeous boyfriend, I chose to meet him in the afternoon for a drink. I only expected to spend 2 hours meeting him, but we actually spent the rest of the day together, and he gave me a long, sensual, and unforgettable kiss when we parted. A guy should seal the deal fast when he has found the right girl. Some guys are a little shy about that. But girls, if your guy doesn’t advance the relationship to the next level within say 3 dates, I’d say go for the next on your admirer list.
It didn’t take me long on Okcupid before meeting the right boy. So finding a great boy to be your boyfriend from an online dating site is fast and requires minimal effort, and there is a very high success rate if you follow the 3 strict tests I showed you. However, it also depends on luck. After I met my current boyfriend, I didn’t find any guy who was worthy of further investigation. After a month, I disabled my account and officially took myself off the market.
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May 22, 2011